Under the bloody weather

So I'm feeling a tad under the weather, and I absolutely hate it. I'm not a very patient person, and when I come down with a fever because my stepfather chooses to bring his sick 9-year old here, my patience runs shorter than usual. This fucking fever messes up all my plans for this week. Bloody germs!

The fever, sneezes, and coughing fits aside, I have some things going on this week (which I so hope I'll be able to see through) which should be enough to pull me out of my dark hole of depression and worthlessness. This Friday, I'm going to a showjumping yard about two hours from here for a job interview (which basically consists of working there for a day or two). I'll admit, I don't feel very elated about possibly living away from home and working six days a week, but I'm in such a desperate need for money, and considering how hard it is to find work these days, even working in a yard seem pretty good.

I'm also trying to learn how to play some Tom Petty songs, to give my guitar playing a boost. I really love Tom Petty, so I hope my future covers of his genius songs won't be totally worthless.

Anyways... I guess I'm off to write "Sirocco" and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Cheers,
<3 Avie

'Cause you had a bad day

Today is a day of disappointment, and the reason is spelled expensive course literature.

The background story is the following: A few weeks ago, I was accepted to a free-standing, internet-based course in "Russian for beginners", and I have been looking forward to it immensely. Registration for the course opened last week, but it wasn't until today I was given information about what books we would be required to buy for the course, and that knowledge has ruined effin' everything for me. Why?

The bloody book costs 900 SEK (approximately 1100 dollars), and I can't find any used copies for sale anywhere. It really, truly sucks. Even if I could convince myself that one book is worth such a huge amount of money, the fact still stands that right now, I can't even afford to pay my cellphone bill.

I guess I'll just have to settle for playing my damn guitar and make my Sims earn a fortune in simoleons.

Delivery

Just yesterday, I was pouring my heart out to Sarah and whined about how fucking miserable I felt, and how it wouldn't be fair for anything more to go wrong in my life. I felt down about pretty much everything: not having any money, not being able to get a job, not exercising enough, not being as committed to learning guitar as I should be, etc etc.

Yet today, I find myself feeling strangely... content: Like I'm doing as well as could be expected, considering the circumstances.

The reasons as to why I don't feel like slitting my wrists right now is likely these:

1) My new teachers at Komvux (Swedish Adult Education...) were positive when I asked about the possibilites of doing my studies at home, instead of going to class. I was convinced they would be real mean bastards and tell me to either come to class or go fuck myself, but they didn't, for which I'm eternally grateful. Perhaps this whole "improving my High school grades" will actually work out this time.

2) After having hounded my uni teachers through the entire summer, they finally told me I had earned a pass in their classes, and it boosted my spirits enormously. Though I still won't get any money from CSN, at least I only need 3 more credits until I'm entitled to financial aid again. I realize a meteor will probably fall on my head tomorrow as punishment for me being positive, but if that happens, I'll have a good excuse as to why I haven't done my homework :D

3) I have been looking for an opportunity to complete some of the required work experience for admittance to Vet school (Yes, I know it's about four years left, so shut up!), and I finally got the boss of our local veterinary clinic on the phone. It's not a sure deal yet, but with some good riddance, I'll be embarking on my work experience a couple of weeks from now.

If I could become a guitar god, get accepted to CCNY, and win the lottery by Christmas, Life would be perfect.

xXx,
Avaiva